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Recently my many different adventures have opened my eyes to how mean women can be to one another, especially in large groups. My horseback riding classes are primarily women, as well as ballet. I have to say most times, I hardly even notice it. But lately I’ve taken to observing the behavior of my classmates. In one situation, one particular woman tried to manipulate the other classmates into adhering to her preferred schedule for the class. While this got shot down by the instructor immediately, it was very evident that she brought this up in front of everyone almost as a challenge - sort of an “I dare you to go against my opinion!”. Not only was it an inappropriate time for this discussion, she also needs to have more consideration for the instructor’s time. I didn’t really think this was a big issue, but you could tell others in the class were a little caught off guard by the comment. There are constant power struggles in that particular class and honestly its getting old. The women there are also very clique-ish and it is just silly at our ages!

In another case, one woman was overwhelmed by the class to the point it brought her to tears. I do not handle crying people very well, so I just pretended it wasn’t happening. (like my stick my head in the sand coping skills?). But the other people in the class made it obvious that she was being “weird” and stared at her out of the corners of their eyes. The previous week, when someone else cried in class**, the members of the class flocked to her to ask what was wrong, etc etc. Why does the one person get such concern and consideration, while the other is left alone and started at? This is another example of the clique-y behavior of woman that drives me insane. Everything is fine in small numbers (4 or less), but once you grow to more than that, the cliques form and catty behavior begins. It doesn’t seem to matter how old you are either, as these classes I’m in range from 13 years old to 50+.

I was in a sorority in college, and you know the behavior was rampant there as well. Luckily the great friends and good times I had greatly outweigh the lame girl crap that went on as well. I know a few people who are Junior League members, and I honestly wonder if the same goes on there. It seems to be a community-focused group from the outside, but I can only imagine the insanity that goes on behind closed doors.

So I’m wondering if this will ever change. More women are in the work force now than when our moms and grandma’s were growing up. Will this added responsibility and experience change how we treat each other? At this point, I can’t tell any difference. It does seem that women my age try to be more inclusive of all of their friends and are very open to meeting new people. I also think that the people I know are better at separating the actual issue from the drama that can be created around it. But is that true for all women? Are we just genetically programmed to be mean to one another? Is it a survival thing? It seems to be such a strange behavior, but it happens all the time.

Thank you for listening to my sociology lesson. You may return to your regular Internet time-wasting now.

**Just a note, the class is actually really fun, so I’m never sure why people always end up crying in it. It is a challenging class, so I’m guessing people just handle the challenges in different ways. If I ever end up crying in it, please stick your head in the sand and ignore me.